notallwugs:

Two scientists walk into a bar:

"I’ll have an H2O."

"I’ll have an H2O, too."

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

1 day ago with 23,007 notes
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3 days ago with 8,733 notes

vicious-desperation:

bepeu:

no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed

image

3 days ago with 366,193 notes

rneerkat:

“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”

5 days ago with 442,575 notes
5 days ago with 2,875 notes
1 week ago with 503,974 notes

alphaflyer:

Stunning.

2 weeks ago with 93,846 notes

dancybutt:

lnstagrandma:

how to piss someone off:

leave the door open

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2 weeks ago with 408,401 notes